drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Well I just put wine in my tea
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
