i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Randomize
