so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
