just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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