i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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