Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Randomize