Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
