i don't like sucking hair
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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