Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
