sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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