so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Randomize
