True but thats because hes a fetus.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Randomize
