don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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