dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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