The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
