She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
