Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
