I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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