then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
