Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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