its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I'm just crazy horny about you
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
