so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize