i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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