She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
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