too bad you live with your parents still
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
