He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
