This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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