I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
