Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
So squirting runs in the family.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
