but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Randomize
