i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
