My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
