Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
He keeps bees of course he's weird
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
