I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
She announced her abortion via fbk
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
