Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
