Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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