First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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