well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
