Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize