do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
