fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Randomize
