I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
