I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
