did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
