so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
My vagina is very pro this idea
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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