At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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