"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
My pussy is not your playground.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
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