Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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