Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
