I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I showed him my bush... on skype.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
