drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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