Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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