Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
