Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Randomize
