But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
