yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Randomize
