I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
