Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
