is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize