He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
