Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Randomize
