You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Randomize
