is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
did i just pee glitter
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
