i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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