I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
