Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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