he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Randomize
