no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Sext me about skeletons
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
