At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
