Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize